I hope you enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday full of food, family, friends and fellowship.
Like many, I was raised in a family where individual personalities and issues often led to some dysfunction… particularly at the holidays. My dad’s gregarious nature in making deep friends outside of family, and his alcoholism, could make him the life of the party. Or, it could make him a wrecking ball at family events, and too often, in my memories, unfortunately, it did. I know I am not alone in memories of dysfunctional holiday family events… too many movies have been made for it not to be all too common.
The scriptures are not silent on this phenomena. Proverbs 17:1 addresses many a Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner very succinctly I think
[Proverbs 17:1 NASB95] 1 Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife.
“….a house full of feasting with strife.” Tell me Solomon had not visited a family holiday table!
What is the root of this? Why is it so commonly true?
When I ask that question, most of us can readily and easily point the finger at someone in our family, friends, or “dear” ones and say “they” seem to be the source of the “holiday dinner dynamite” They need to change their attitude, or behavior, and the rest of us would be fine. That may be well and true at least in part. But, it is also true that I, and I think most of us, would do well to spot the energy for discord, dysfunction, and dispute in our own nature to want things to be, or to go, the way that we want them to be, or turn out. We want it our way! And, we are less than grateful “for”, or to, that other “one / person”, never mind thankful “in” the circumstances “they” have created or brought with them that aren’t what we wanted or dreamed of. And certainly, NEVER MIND BEING THANKFUL TO GOD for that person, and certainly not “in” these circumstances. “I’d rather sit in a corner alone with a dry morsel. Thank you very much!”
Back to the holiday table for a moment and the epistles on the giving of thanks. We Americans certainly have much to give thanks for. And, as believers in Jesus, we have even more to fill our hearts, and our being, with gratitude regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. That is why we are instructed to “in everything give thanks”. (1Thessalonians 5:18) Not “for” everything give thanks, but “in” everything.”
Philippians 4:16 qualifies this telling us how to do so, adding that you do it through prayer and supplication. Rather than being anxious about things you don’t, or can’t, control (ie: be Lord of/or over… which is effectively ” in everything”), turn to He that is Lord of everything. And through prayer and supplication “with thanksgiving” let your request be made known to Him.
[Philippians 4:6 NASB95] 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I know this is somewhat of a generalization, but we are all just a bit selfish in wanting what we want when we get together with others. Anyone or group…. but particularly family. I often think God, as a first priority, is, in our own families, and in our gatherings as the ekklesia, trying to make us understand the value of family, and all relationships. And, the value of that big commandment. You know, the New One, the only one Jesus gave us: Love one another.
[John 13:34 NASB95] 34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
[John 15:12, 17 NASB95] 12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. … 17 “This I command you, that you love one another.
That command is also reiterated time and time again by disciples/apostles Peter (1 Peter 1:22) and John (1 John 3:11, 3:23, 4:7, 4:11-12, & 2 John 1:5) , and Paul (Romans 13:18, I Thessalonians 4:9)
You see, until we learn the value of others, we cannot be grateful for them, and that God has drawn us into a relationship / fellowship / family with them for His purpose. And that understanding, and the gratitude that goes with it, is basic. That is why John would also write:
[1John 1:3 NASB95] 3 what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ.
It might be said that John saw the end of the gospel as drawing us into fellowship as a family. A fellowship the Father and the Son have enjoyed since eternity past. And, that very fellowship is now open to us with each other; and with and through the Father and the Son!
John would then follow up a bit later on this family concept calling us “children of God”:
[1John 3:1-2 NASB95] 1 See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and [such] we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. 2 Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.
If that will not make you thankful to God, and thankful for your family and others, “heavenly” and otherwise, then I am not sure what will.
Gratitude, Thanksgiving, to God, and for others He has drawn you into relationship with, is integral to faith in His sovereign purposes for you. I taught my kids, as they were growing up, that people/relationships are important, because they are the only “stuff” of eternity we touch here. “They” are the only thing going to the other side with us, and, as such, are the only investment you can make that pays eternal dividends. The only treasure you can lay up in heaven is people, so invest deeply.
If you read Ephesians, Paul, in chapters 4-6, deals with relationships, first in the church, then husbands and wives, then children and parents/fathers and children, then masters (employers) and slaves (employees). Then he says:
[Ephesians6:10-12 NASB95] 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual [forces] of wickedness in the heavenly [places.]
Note that out of this discussion of relationships he discusses “the schemes of the devil” and says “our struggle is not with flesh and blood…”. Why? It is because he comprehends that relationships are exactly where the adversary will attack us and spread discord, disputes, dysfunction, disunity, (and holiday dinner dynamite) and destroy the fellowship, family, and love the Father so desires with us, and desires for us to have and enjoy corporately.
The foundational attack, and root of discord, is our heart toward relationship with others. Ingratitude draws us into a challenged relationship with others. But perhaps even worse, it can cause us to reject or dispute God’s sovereign purpose in our relationship with others, And, out of that, reject our relationship to the Father and the Son, not understanding Who He is and what He desires. Romans 1:21 tracks the progression of not giving thanks to God and thanksgiving in relationships and circumstances with others. The end of wanting our own way, instead of His and giving thanks in these relationships and circumstances, is to be wise in our own eyes and become fools before Him, and to live in darkness of heart.
[Romans 1:21-22 NASB95] 21 For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations (KJV: vain in their imaginations) , and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools,
So, rather than stumble into darkness, and darkness of heart, through wanting our own way, and our vain imaginations of how we want things to be or to turn out. And, thereby refusing to recognize and honor God’s sovereignty and being at work in us to will and work of His good pleasure (see Philippians 2:13-15 on proving to be children of God) in relationships and circumstances. And, then not giving Him thanks for what He is doing, even in relationships and circumstances those relationships may create. May we find ourselves turning to He that is the LORD of all, and in everything, and with thanksgiving let our request (desire) be made known, while yet trusting He who is good, and always faithful in His love and is doing what is right.
For your consideration in giving thanks. He is good; and His lovingkindness is everlasting…. it never fails:
.[1Chronicles 16:34 NASB] 34 O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
[Psalm 106:1 NASB] 1 Praise the LORD!Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
[Psalm 107:1 NASB] 1 Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good,For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
[Psalm 118:1, 29 NASB] 1 Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;For His lovingkindness is everlasting. … 29 Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
[Psalm 136:1, 3, 26 NASB] 1 Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good,For His lovingkindness is everlasting. … 3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords,For His lovingkindness is everlasting. … 26 Give thanks to the God of heaven,For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
[Jeremiah 33:11 NASB] 11 the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who say,”Give thanks to the LORD of hosts,For the LORD is good,For His lovingkindness is everlasting”;and of those who bring a thank offering into the house of the LORD. For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were at first,’ says the LORD.